A bunch of random thoughts

So pretty much right now I have just a bunch of random thoughts and I feel like writing them down. If you feel like reading it...go for it!!
Before I get to them though, I would like to refer to one of the comments on my last blog. Pretty much all I would like to say to it is, if you don't like how I chose to express how I am feeling, don't read my blogs. No one is making you, so just don't bother reading them if you don't like it. K Thanks.

So thought number one:
Back to school soon. YAY. I actually wanna go back to school which seems weird because we all know that in a few months, I will not really want to be in school. But that's a normal reaction. A four month summer break is nice, but to some point too long. Especially when it just isn't a very good summer. When you don't have any fun during the summer, it makes it seem really long. Although I have to say, there were some parts of the last 4 months that were awesome. For example my birthday. Hahahaha I had soooo much fun that night and so many awesome things happened. Thing that I thought would never happen. Ever! Haha Jeff you know exacty what "things" I am talking about. And you gotta admit you had fun that night too. Walking me home at 4:40 and making sure that I would actually get home safe while you, me, and dan were all still a little buzzed. Hmm another fun time would be going to b.c.. Getting away from the city and everything related to the city. Work, friends, problems..it all got left behind when I went to bc. And I couldn't have been happier those 2 weeks that I was there. So anyways back to the school subject, I am excited to go back because I wanna see my friends. My friends that I made while going to SAIT last year. We had soo many fun times together. Like going to the bar, and skipping a couple of classes just to go hang out and have fun. There should be some fun times again this year.

Random thought number two:
There is an easy way to tell if I have been upset, something has been bugging me, or I'm just not myself. This would be to just look at my fingers. It's a horrible habbit that I have, but it's something that is soo hard to break. This habbit is to chew on the skin around my nails. After I have chewed on that skin for a bit, and ripped off big chunks of skin, I am left with not so nice looking cuts, and they definately are not so nice feeling either. I am not exactly sure when this habit started but it's been going on for quite some time. Jeff (my ex) was the only person that could get me to stop.I miss him for that. I mis him for caring about me that much that he didn't wanted to see me hurt myself. Even though it would kinda piss me off or annoy me at the time, he still got me to stop and I knew that he was only bugging me about it because he cared. At the beginning of our relationship he actually threatened me when he saw me chewing my fingers. Not threaten me in a way that he would hurt me. The threat was actually that he would not kiss me or hug me if he saw any cuts on my fingers. And this no hugging/kissing thing would last for as long as he wanted it to depending on how bad my fingers were. I think it only happened once or twice and it would only last for a couple of days. But he still got me to stop chewing on my fingers. I wish I could break that habit again...

Random thought number three:
Why do people who are 18 or 19 still act so childish. I have noticed it for quite some time now. People tend to act so childish for no reason. It is as if they still think they are in high school, and can be playing stupid "games." And really, it happens too often. I'm not saying that at all time's you need to be mature and never have fun. There are always those times for fun, but I think some people think it's ok to act immature at all time. I think going to college/university really makes people matture. It's really weird how much you grow-up in your first year of college. You can't act like you are in high school anymore. You have to act like you are an adult. You have to actually act your age. I don't think that everyone who hasn't yet experienced college/university is immature because there are people out there that are matture. But there are also a lot of people who aren't matture, in any kind of way, and really need to just grow up. Stop acting like a child all the time.

Thought number four:
I have been kinda "lonely" lately. Wanted someone to care about me and just like me for me. So in other words, I want a boyfriend. I have had fun being single all summer but I think I am ready again for a boyfriend. I am not gonna go on some super crazy hunt though for a boyfriend because I can survive in life without one, but it would be nice if I had a boyfriend again. Someone who cared about me, and just wanted to spend time with me. But not someone who treated me like how Jeff treated me near the end of our relationship.
Actually my ex-ex bf wants to hang out again. I have been talking to him a bit on the phone lately, which I have mentioned before in my previous posts. He really wants to hang out again, but for some reason I just can't. I can't go see him. I just don't really want to. It's really weird. It's been just over a year since the last time that I saw him. I think it's because I can't forgive him for all of the shit he put me through. He definately put me through more shit then Jeff did. It's crazy. I think I just need to either tell him that I can't see him or just stop talking to him. If I tell him though, I don't really know how to explain it to him without sounding like a complete pyscho or a bitch.
There is this guy though right now that I do kinda like. He seems really cool, and super nice. And I know he thinks I am super hot. Hahah Whenever I see him he gives me a huge smile. I dunno if anything will happen from it, or if it's just one of those fun crushes. I don't really care too much though. Like I said I am not on some hunt to find a boyfriend.

Almost done, thought number five:
Casey come's back soon. She has been in bc pretty much all summer and she comes back in about a week. I am definately excited. Finally another friend to hang out with. Some one who is matture and does agree with my random thought number three. We had the discussion a few days ago and she totally agrees with me. It'll be good when she comes back. It'll make me a happier person. She is someone that I never argue with and we can not hang out for a few weeks or months and then hang out one night and it's like nothing has changed and we haven't miss anything. I can always count on her being there. And I have definately had some fun times with her just hanging out and at the bars too. Hahaha

Final thought of the night, number six:
I get my hair died on Saturday. Yay. I am getting my highlights touched up. They have faded quite a bit, or the rest of my hair has just become a lot lighter which could be true from being out in bc in the sun all the time for 2 weeks, and also the roots are just showing a lot. And I might get something else done too but I'm not quite sure yet. I gotta talk to my hair dresser when I go in on Satuday. I am super excited. I love getting my hair done.

Well that's long enough. I got out all my thoughts.
It's bedtime now. Gotta go to work in the morning.
Good night.