I don't need his bullshit!

So right now life could definately be better.
I sat an cried last night for about 3 hours...I just couldn't stop no matter what I tried to do.
So there are a few reasons as to why I was crying and basically having an emotional break down......

School is damn stressful right now. Teachers like to pile everything on in the same couple of weeks.

Yesterday I went to this cranial therapy. I go every second week for my migraines. It really helps but sometimes it can screw me up pretty bad that day. It can make me over-emotional and just make me start crying for no reason. This is because when this therapy is done it releases toxins from your organs. I'm not gonna get into all that crap detail though. Basically..it can just cause you too be very emtional.

I spent about an hour and a half on the weekend writing an email to my ex-bf, Jeff, telling him how I felt and trying to explain a lot of shit to him. And by last night I hadn't gotten a reply from him. Nate, jeffs friend, (who I have been talking to for about the last week and who gave me the idea of writing Jeff the email) was going to talk to Jeff on sunday night.
Last night I got into a huge fight with Jeff. I was talking to Nate, on msn and I knew something was up because "Nate" was being an ass to me and he never is. But I just continued talking to him and bitching a little about Jeff. Later on last night Nate told me that it really was Jeff talking to me earlier on his msn. This completely pissed me off, but I had kinda known it was either Jeff talking to me on Nates msn or Jeff was with Nate. While Jeff was talking to me on Nate's msn, Nate wasn't around his computer, and didn't know that Jeff was talking to until Jeff yelled at Nate and told Nate to take over talking to me because Jeff didn't know what to say to me anymore.
So Nate said he was really sorry and told me that I couldn't tell Jeff though that I knew it was him. Or else Jeff would kill Nate. After that was all done, Nate told me to talk to Jeff and see what Jeff had to say and kinda be a bitch to him. So I was talking to Jeff and as soon as he wrote me something I would paste it to Nate and Nate would tell me what to say to Jeff. It was good... with Nates help, I completely bitched at Jeff.
I felt a little better after that. Then I continued talk to Nate, after I had blocked Jeff, and I asked Nate "why would you help me be a bitch to your best friend?" Nate basically explained to me that he thought I was good for Jeff and it would benefit Jeff to have me in his life. But it's Jeff's fault if he doesn't want me. Nate told me "don't let it get to you, it's his lost"
Nate told me some good songs to download and listen to. They all have to do with breaking up with someone, and being ok on your own.
The songs are:
Boys 2 Men - I'm doin just fine (Nate told me to learn the words and sing them loud hahah)
112 - It's over now
Craig David - Don't love you no more
3LW - Could've been you
Avant - Seperate Remix
Ashanti - Over

They are all really good songs.

I'll be ok in the next couple of days..I just need to get over this crap and make myself realize.... I don't need his bullshit!!!

.....

I think I'm gonna cry

.....

Good mornin

So I went to my blog and noticed that I haven't updated it in a few days so I figured I better. Nothing too exciting has happened in the last few days.
Thursday, I went to school and then went to work.
Friday, I worked in the morning and then hung out with friends for most of the afternoon. We went to the mall, went out for dinner, then went up to Schanks. Our cool waiter from last weekend was working and he came and talked to us for a bit and then bought me, amy, jamie and himself a shot. It was awesome. I was bored at Schanks and just didn't want to be there, and so Amy and I left and went over to our friends Mike's house. It was fun. Sat outside by the fire for a while and just chatted with a few of our friends from high school.

I had another long chat with my ex's best friend on Thursday night. And once again it was a good chat. I had decided that I was going to write an email to my ex-bf. And both me and his best friend were going to tell him that we had been talking, but we know that he is going to find out eventually so we might as well just tell him now. So I was going to write him the email last night but by the time I got home and was going to start writing it I was way too tired to think properly so I decided not to write it to him. Then this morning I wake up, which was about 15 minutes ago, hahaha, and I have a message on msn from my ex-bf that said "whore." I dunno what the hell that is suppose to mean....if it was just a joke, or if he was being serious. So I gotta try and figure out now what the hell that message was for before I write him the email.

Well that's all. Today my mom is cooking turkey dinner and I think Amy is coming over for a while.

Have a good day.

Cold!

So yesterday was very similar to the previous day.
Come home from school, study for 5 hours, eat dinner, then study some more.

Although yesterday afternoon while I was studying I was also talking on msn to my ex-boyfriends best friend. We had a good chat. He told me a lot about my ex-bf, and just explained things to me. I'm glad I had the chat with him. Now I just gotta decide what I wanna do about the situation. I think I'm gonna leave it and not worry about it too much for now. But just keep it all in the back of my mind. Right now school is much more important to me then any relationship. I would much rather be single and be doing well in school then have a boyfriend and be failing my classes. If though my ex-bf and I worked shit out and wanted to date again, he would have to change a few things before anything could happen. And I would definately never forget the shit he did to me before. But I do still love him and I can also never forget that too.

Even though it would sound like I got a lot of studying completed I really didn't. While talking on msn, I was also running up and down the stairs about every hour checking on my younger brother who was laying on the couch really sick and trying to make him eat something. I did get enough studying done though that I think I did alright on my math test that I had today. And I did finish the assignment that I had due today in communications. It was suppose to be a group assignment but like most of the other assignments, I ended up doing most of the work.

Theres not much more to say. Except for the fact that it was frickin cold outside today. I thought I was gonna freeze to death while I was standing at the bus stop this morning. hahah Went to school today and didn't pay very much attention. Then went to work and had fun folding paper all afternoon. And then I got to run a big expensive printing machine for my dad. It was awesome.

Tomorrow I gotta go to school. Then go to work afterwards. Work is buying us Peter's Drive Inn for lunch. YUMMY!!!!!!

Anyways that's all.

Crap!

So today consisted of.....
School (skipping my 2 hours of accounting so that I could go help my friend with her computer project)
Coming home and studying all afternoon
Taking a half an hour nap around 4
Studying some more
Eating dinner
Studying some more

And then just giving up on studying.
I hope I pass my test that I have tomorrow on Microsoft Access.

Bed time now!
Good night

Exciting!

So I got my hair highlighted today. I'm soo excited. It's definately a shock when I see myself in the mirror. I haven't had any blonde in my hair since the end of grade 10!! That was a long time ago. I think it looks good though. And it better look good for the amount of money I spent on it.

Other then that I didn't do anything today. Slept till 11. And was at the hair salon from 2:15 till 5.

The wedding that I went to last night was alright. Nothing too exciting.

I can't believe the amount of snow we have. It's the first day of spring today and we have snow! It's stupid.

Well it's off to school tomorrow..I have class from 8-12. Then I am coming home to study and do homework. I am taking Monday and Tuesday of this week and next week off work so that I can catch up on school work because I have been slacking off sooo bad and I can't afford to screw it up now...I'm almost done my first year of college. It's actually kinda scarey to think about.

Anyways, I'm gonna watch a movie and then go to bed.
Good night.

Fun!

So last night was pretty fun. Would have been better if Amy wouldn't of had to go home at 9. I really wanted her there all night. I got drunk..but not REALLY drunk...it was a good drunk. It was fun seeing people from high school who I hadn't seen since we graduated.
My mom says you are welcome Jeff. She didn't want you walking home! hahaha I knew you would freak out when some random people just started yelling your name!

Tonight I gotta go to a wedding.

And tomorrow I am getting my hair highlighted. I'm soooooo excited!!!!!!

Tonight is gonna be.....

AWESOME!!!

Going to schanks. Gonnna go hang out with some friends from high school, and get drunk! It's gonna be fun! I'm excited.


Right now...I am in class but of course not paying attention. Only 2 more hours of class and then I'm done for the day.
YAY!!!!

Crazy....

Today has been crazy......
I got into two arguments with my communications teacher today. That was first thing this morning which made me kinda pissed off all day.
Work was crazy.
Did an online test tonight for one of my courses and got so tired of it that I gave up and got 33% on it. But whatever it's only worth 2.5% of my final mark so I don't really care.
Studying for micro-economics test that I have tomorrow....wish me luck..I hope I do as well as my last economics test...87%.
I think I am gonna start failing my courses....too much homework and assignments and tests and just not enough time to do it all. I'm scared.... I can't fail!!!!! Oh well I'll take some time off work and try to get some shit done.

Anyways..lookin forward to the weekend...goin to Schanks on Friday to get drunk! yes! I don't get drunk often, but I definately need to right now.

Well I'm off to bed now

Good night

I hate this feeling.....

I hate this feeling.....
That's been my msn nickname for the last couple of days, and it is definately how I feel. I talk to people about how I feel but I just can 't seem to actually explain it to anyone. I miss my ex-bf. I miss him like crazy, even though I feel as if I shouldn't. I was explaining it to my friend yesterday and I told her that everytime I think of the bad things that he did to me, I think of the good things that we had. So she told me this..."When you think of a good thing, think of and associate it with a bad thing, instead of the opposite, which is what you are doing right now." Which makes complete sense. I really have to keep in mind the bad things that he did and the unhappiness that he did cause me. I wanna stay friends with him and we actually kinda talked last night which was the first time since we broke up. But talking to him kinda made me miss him more......

Anyways off of that subject for now.....

Today was the same old routine....School, work, came home and ate dinner and then my friend came over and we did an assignment that we have due tomorrow.
Tomorrow again will be the same routine...School, work, and do homework all night. I gotta study a lot though. I have a micro-economics test on Thursday, and the last couple of weeks I haven't been paying much attention in class.

I have to make a special shout out.....HEY JEFF M!!!!
hahahaha

Anyways I'm off to bed...I need sleep!!

Good night

Welcome

Hey hey!!
What's up?
Ok so since this is my first post I'll explain a little about me first. Well...I'm an 18 year old female living in Calgary. I am currently attending SAIT taking Business Administration and majoring in Financial Services. I go to school in the morning and work in the afternoon. I work at a printing company for my dad. It's easy work and pretty good pay. Makes me happy.

Right now I am actually in class. Kind of paying attention to what we are doing. It's Business Mathematics so I am just copying down all of the notes that are being written...pretty easy.
After I am done class which is at 12...it's off to work for the afternoon.

So the mood that I am in right now it pretty weird. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. We had been dating for almost 5 months. I broke up with him because I just couldn't take it anymore..too much bullshit going on and I knew that it wasn't worth it anymore. He was making me more upset then he was making me happy. He was constantly getting mad at me and yelling at me for stupid things. Which just isn't right. For the most part I am happy that I broke up with him, but just like any other break up, it's hard. Yesterday and today are prety rough. I really miss him.

This weekend though was pretty good...besides all of the homework that I had to do. I had a big project due this past thursday that I didn't get done in time, so I had to do it this weekend..and I actually finished it and handed it in this morning. Which is awesome! Other then homework, Friday afternoon/night I went shopping with Amy (my best friend) and bought some clothes, perfume, sandals, and a cd. After shopping we went out for dinner and then called it a night. It was definately a fun night.

Anyways that's all. I gotta get back to actually paying attention in class.

See ya